Every Day is a Brand New Day

Returned from visiting my brother and sister-in-law in Decatur, and we spent the day with my mom. Picked her up from the nursing home in the late morning and she spent the day at Terry's house with us and the little kids. My nephew Mark and his little family was there as well. 

As expected Mom did not know my name when I arrived at the nursing home.  She was so glad to see me, recognized me as someone important to her, but who, she could not say.  She was just so glad to see me and hug me.  And I was so glad to see her too.  She is actually physically doing better.  Her posture and walking have improved since she has been having Physical Therapy  several times a week.

Most of the time she really cannot tell you who she thinks you are.  Just that she knows you, but can't remember your name, or what the relationship is.  She confuses my brother with her father a lot of the time, and at times thinks my brother ownes the nursing home where she lives.  She asked him one day if he was a big shot there, since everyone seemed to do what he wanted them to.?

She was in good spirits most of the day, but taking her home was sad.  She wet her pants, and that embarrassed her to no end.  Then at the nursing home she didn't want us to leave, and she didn't want to stay.  She was very frightened, which makes me sad, because I feel like I am abandoning a child in a strange place.That is how it feels.  After a while she was overcome by exhaustion, from being out all day with only a short nap and she agreed to go to bed.  We left her with her teddy bear that we brought her for company.

Every day is a brand new day for mom. I am sure that she won't even remember that we were there.   Slate wiped clean. New memories to forget. Imagined jobs to do.   New places to go that aren't there, people to meet she knew 60 years ago. A husband to forget, children you don't know you had, a lifetime forgotten.

There is still a lot of love in her heart, I can feel it when she puts her frail arms around me and her head on my shoulder. I don't believe I have felt so much love for my mother as I do now. 

Published in: on June 25, 2006 at 11:20 pm  Leave a Comment  

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