Storm Clouds

I took this a few days ago when a storm was rolling in from the west–It was an awesome site, all those dark clouds with the sun above shining through the gigantic “opening” in the sky

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Published in: on June 4, 2008 at 5:04 pm  Leave a Comment  
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I am an orphan now

In my previous post I said I was doing some catch up–Because my Mom has died. She passed away on Wednesday, March 26 in the early afternoon. My brother happened to get off work early and went over to the nursing home around noon. She had not been doing very well for several weeks and that week had been going downhill quickly. She was unresponsive-catatonic really for about 3 days prior. Anyway, Terry got there and she was obviously dying then, so my sister-in-law came over and the nursing staff all took turns coming in and saying their farewells, giving her a good bye kiss and there were prayers. She finally just gave up and died quietly with Terry there by her side. God bless him, he is such a good son.

We buried her next to my Dad in Pana, Il where she was born and raised. It is an old cemetery on a hill outside of town, my grandparents are buried there as is my baby brother. It was a small wake and funeral, but nice. Her pastor from Rantoul came and spoke-he did a nice job even if he did the “repent now” kind of thing –not quite as bad as when he spoke at Dad’s funeral. I was pretty upset for several days, but only feeling sorry for myself. I am really happy and relieved that she is finally at peace. I am sad for a lot of things but not that she died. The picture in this entry is one taken about 5-6 years ago at the very beginning of her journey into Alzheimers. I took the picture at my home and It is by far my favorite photo of her. This is how I remember her. Love you mom–

Published in: on April 7, 2008 at 2:00 am  Leave a Comment  
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Solitude

Today I am alone, pretty much if you don’t count the dogs. Family is gone for the day and night, and I am alone in my house until late tomorrow, for the first time in several years. I feel great!!! No one wanting anything-except the occasional turn about the yard by the doggies. I can lay on the sofa, or walk around naked-no not that, but I could if I wanted-Play music loud, or read or anything I want. Actually I can do all of that, except the naked thing, when my family is here, it’s just that I am alone today!!! ALONE!!!!

I am sure that at some point I will be bored, or miss them, but right now I am so enjoying being alone. Writing in my Blog. Listing my stuff on Ebay without interuption. Watching The Terminator with one eye-while I write-without my husband making comments about the govenor of California. Tonight I plan to eat all the ice cream I want without said husband giving me the look, and watch M. Night Shamalan’s Signs again for the 10th time. Or maybe not that one but some movie in my collection that husband doesn’t like or makes comments about, and not good ones either.

AND I WILL BE ALONE!!!! Except for Daisy and Dyl my dogs. They at least know when to join in the conversation and when to lay like a sleeping dog.

I have tiny waves of guilt for feeling so happy to be alone, and I certainly do not want to be alone forever. I love my family and like nothing better than to spend time with them, doing family stuff, but it is so nice to occasionally be ALONE.

Daisy, my doggie daughter.

Dylan, my little man.

Published in: on July 1, 2006 at 10:56 pm  Leave a Comment  
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